Date:	2007-12-30 17:48
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	hungry
Music:	el cuchillo :]

bend back give head

it's not pornography

if you do it with lights

then it's art you see

if you do it with a twist

yes, artistically

I don't know how to tell you =/

it's not your fault
I'm just weird
& I'm also sorry even though
you don't know




















where are you?

Date:	2007-12-27 12:24
Subject:	I have really weird
Security:	Public
Mood:	hungry
Music:	the growling of my stomach. I'm hungry

fears.
not ordinary ones like most people do.
like driving.
I hate it sooo much
I hated the idea of driving before
I even had to do it
and fuck man cars scare me
when I'm in the passanger seat I feel
nice and safe but when I'm driving
I feel like the cars are too close
and the street lanes are too narrow
and like i'm gonna hit the car
next to me or like i'm driving to
my right too much then to my left
fucken fuck transportation like that
i like trains and bikes and
subways and walking's nice
[but not in these windy conditions,
I'll get taken away or something]
The wind scares me too like a lot
I haven't been outside my house much
because of it
it's so powerful and I'm too little
for that shit.
I'm also really scared of being in a
pool by myself
not so much anymore as when I used to be
but when I would go swimming
everyday with my brother and then
he'd get tired after 2 hours
and leave I'd get all paranoid
and start thinking about jaws and shit
like that could ever really happen
all of a sudden he just appears in
this pool he can't fit it
but it still scares me
I never ever wanna be in the ocean
by myself I'd freak the fuck out
one time I went on a fishing thing
with my dad and brother and some
other guy was there too but we were
in really shallow water
and in a small boat and I keep on thinking
that any second some shark or something
would just fuck the little boat up
I was so paranoid and the whole
time I just wanted to leave
anytime I ever swim in the ocean [never]
I get scared to go out too much
I think something is just gonna see my
skinny ass legs and just fucken chomp
on them and then maybe if I taste good
just proceed to eat the rest of me.
scary shit.
I hate cats too like a lot I swear
they're going to try and kill us one
of these days or something
I mean I hate cats for diffrent
reasons that most people
honestly I find them really evil
anytime I look at any cat it scares
me like really deep inside
like if they're trying to take my essense
or something it really makes
me uneasy I can't look at them in
the eyes I feel like they're on
a pedestal or something
if I'm around any cat I won't ever
be completely comfortable
people like their cats so much though
I don't know peple are crazy or maybe
I'm just weird.
I don't like updating my livejournal too often
cause then like right now
I just ramble and I know no one reads
it so I guess it's kind of like my
private journal only everyone has access to it
fuck that I should just keep a private journal
and stop updating this
only it will make me feel like
I'm in 1st grade again.
only not really cause I was never good
at keeping journals.

Sometimes I still think of you
and it makes me feel like an asshole.

I'm sorry.

Date:	2007-12-20 22:35
Subject:	meow
Security:	Public
Mood:	okay
Music:	watercolor paintings

life never stops being crazy
and weird but I like it like that
:]
so I had pie for the first
official time
like yesterday? or something
yeah yesterday and it was
fuckin delicious
mexicans we just dont do pie
so I've never really had it
we have tamales though
I think she said those were
her favorite,
too bad I cant
make them or I'd make them
for her
it was funny cause my brothers
gf is not mexican but her family
makes tamales and my mom doesnt
even know how to make them
I told my mom she should be
ashamed
haha she laughed and told me I should
make them
I'm pretty content with life
not really happy but just like in the
middle? i guess if that makes
sense or whatever
I need a good job!
I think it will come soon
with my moms friend
something with movies.
"there are so many things that I
want to do it's too bad I don't have any
time or money I guess I'll be ok
as long as I stay sane and continue
laughing at things when they're funny"

I miss that lady.

Date:	2007-12-11 20:28
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	satisfied
Music:	M.I.A.

life is so crazy
and good.
I like not having a cell phone
or a myspace
I don't need to be accesible to
someone that much.
I like not having friends.
I like running and going dancing.
kimya dawson is so amazing
and just live music in general makes
my head spin.
I guess I kinda have a lady friend
again.
She's cute :]

Date:	2007-11-06 22:51
Subject:	here we go...again..
Security:	Public
Mood:	sad
Music:	rilo kiley mends me

Did my heart break enough?
Did it break enough this time?

Here's to all the pretty words
we will never speak

Here's to all the pretty girls
you're gonna meet

Date:	2007-11-03 09:32
Subject:	jamie [super extra long]
Security:	Public
Mood:	sad

I don't wanna do this anymore.
I fucken hate love
Finally I find someone I like
for reals and she's all w/e about me
she lives so far and she won't even
talk to me on the phone and the
fact that I do is pretty intense
because I hate the phone
and I've always hated talking
to any of my lovers on the phone
but with jamie its diffrent
[Awwww I just saw the cutest
panda on t.v.]
Anyways damn my love life
so I understand she hasn't been wanting
to talk on the phone to anyone really
and stuff but we can't hang out
regularly and then phone is like
a way to feel closer to her and
I don't know I'd make an exception
to my "I haven't felt like talking
on the phone" phase for her
and well I'm not asking for hrs
just like 15 min. Like seriously
that's not a lot.
So I text her and she doesn't really
text me back. So wtf!
Maybe I should really just back
all the way off
I mean maybe she's just scared
cause when I'm with her she's super
sweet and cute and a good lover
and that just fucken confuses me
Well maybe I should just quit
all together before my heart lets
its guard down all the way
and then she'll just tell me something
like I'm really not ready to be with
anyone and then I'm fucked
I mean shit I just wanna make her
happy. She's really fucken cool
and real and a bitch but in a cute way
its hard to explain.
FUCKEN FUCKEN FUCK FUCK FUCK.

Sooo extra long entry:
I'm currently watching a movie
by myself which is how I've been
these days. Alone.
I've liked it though
I find that everything bores me now
hanging out w/my friends doesn't
feel the same anymore
I don't know if I'm bored of them
or what we're doing or the place
we live
but it kinda sucks
Because alone time means too much
thinking and I already think
very loudly.
I need a job I think that will help
my situation a lot
maybe I just feel bored cause I
don't have money to suggest
crazy places to have crazy
adventures so I don't go out
at all.
My new lover makes me happy
like crazy status to where I'm
freaking out about it
I'm super scared.
Everything with selina didn't
feel right like it does with
Jamie
everything with her is just always ok
things fall into place and its just
so natural & lately all I wanna do
is see her and spend time with her
I don't think she likes me as much
as I do though
I really hope I'm wrong about that.
I miss her & I just saw her last
night.
fucken missing people sucks.
Ok well bff!
-marcy

life is crazy
life is good.
tall cans have become close friends.
papers for philosophy suck.
my new lady friend is cool
too bad she's in Africa.
mr. free is the shit
I still need that cd.

dfdfjkwefjk238923789qweruioq ZXM. L;CB L;
';P
63PIO6

I haven't updated in a while
I got another job
&
it's easy and I like it
and I get to listen to my ipod which
is cool and makes the days seem faster
:]
I need to re-shave the side of
my head cause it grew in really fast.
I miss lexi
The first memory of meeting her
was cool she held my hand
cause the high school kids
scared her haha
Hopefully I can visit her soon.
Lifes been crazy and drug filled
and like 2 days ago I did a hippie flip
yea and it was intense
I'm being good now though
no more intense drugs
I'm with cassie right now
pretty fucking stoney
[Herb is not an intense drug]
we're getting food and it took
like 15 minutes cause the guy
keept fucking up
our order is gonna be fucked up I know it
haha oh we'll oh yeah and Cassie suggested
we all get something we've never
ordered before so we all did
:]
Oh oh
Tegan and sara show in october
I'm stoked I got my tickets and all
and I got to meet them already
So now I'll get to see them :]
Um ok I'm done
Amor y paz
:]

So yesterday I went clubbin
with john and john and justin
and then my girlfriend
met up with us later
it was fun only I don't
posses any dancing skills
at all
blah whatever I had fun and
I was drunk
and today I had my first intense
fight with my girl
it was for dumb reasons
but we fixed things and she
bought me roses.
Lifes been way crazy
lately but I like it.
Anyways
Selina!!<333

Date:	2007-05-22 00:01
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	happy
Music:	i don't need it right now.

wow
the past week I can't think
or feel or do anything
so right now seriously
all i can say is
SELINA<3333!

tegan and sara
and
tokyo police club
in july
so stoked
so many shows this summer
its gonna be tight!
haha
so some guy selling
something just asked me
if my brother was my husband
wtf!?
we look alike
creep.
so finally im moving out!
:]!
in like 2 weeks i'll be out
of my house
sooo fucken happy i've been
waiting to move out forever
i hate my family.
alright in done.
love
-marcy

Date:	2007-04-30 13:37
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	sick
Music:	Rilo I LOVE L.A.

blah!
I havent been in a relationship since
november.

I'm fucking up so much.

Date:	2007-04-10 23:37
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	frustrated
Music:	animal collective

i hate cinthia!
she drives me crazy.
i want closure thats it
fucker just stops talking to me 
after breaking my heart and she doesnt
even tell me why.
blah.
on other news
yesterday I did acid
and it was fucken amazing
it's the best drug out there.
everything is something on acid.
and you can't get high on acid
we tried it was impossible.
p.s.
im bad at love.
=[
&
i miss alex.

Date:	2007-01-02 23:30
Subject:	Enid
Security:	Public
Mood:	nostalgic
Music:	circa survive

I've always wanted to do what enid did at the end of ghost world.

Date:	2006-11-15 20:38
Subject:	IKEA
Security:	Public
Mood:	content
Music:	The Beatles

I took someone on a date
it started at 3 am
we went
to watch the sunrise at top of the world
then ihop
(It was my first time going to ihop)
then a car nap
then to IKEA
who the fuck goes on dates to IKEA?
$1 ice cream.
then to do legal things
&
i tripped out.
It was the most fun I've had in a while
& one of the best dates ever.

I've been keeping a lot to myself lately
it's not good
but ugh stuffs hard for me.
&
for the first time I'm updating my lj
and im not angry or upset. 
I'm listening to la bamba
itunes shuffel.
so i shall add a picture to end the update.


the end.